Anhedonia

            Increasingly I find myself in the grips of a cataclysmic sensation, as though the world is about to come undone at the seams around me. I stopped listening to most news a while ago, not because I like to be ignorant, but because it’s the thing that brought on this feeling. But apparently I’m magnificent sadist, because once a week I watch The Daily Show and listen to Real Time, all within the space of 24 hours, 24 depressing, gloomy hours. Because, nothing is ever getting better. Politics worse. Wars, constantly increasing. (Alright, maybe not so much any more but for a while there it sure seemed like it). The economy…oh god I need a Valium.

            Ah, that’s better. Where, was I? Oh, yeah. The news…like shows I watch. I don’t even laugh much at them anymore. And these are the ones soft peddling it. And politics used to be my thing. I’d watch debates, the state of the union; sometimes I would watch C-SPAN for ten whole minutes before dozing off. But I can’t even doze off anymore; I watch it with more focus and terror then Rosemary’s Baby. It’s bad. It’s really bad.

But I don’t have a word for it. The closest I’ve been able to come is sort of overkill, but its something. Anhedonia. It is literally the inability to get pleasure from previously pleasurable things. And that is how I feel about politics, right now.