Thoughts from a Car Ride

            Life is a compilation of events that in the end don’t amount to much. However, they usually are more cohesive if you set them to music. This is one of the things that goes through my mind as my dad and I drive through the Berkshires, though honestly it could have come to me at any point on our 200+K drive back home. Because Whenever I go on a long trip with my father I spend about half of that waiting for him to get off the phone, and one of my few diversions is to think up the weirdest/dumbest sentences or thoughts that I can just to keep myself amused. Amused may be a strong word though, as it’s really just a practice to kill time.

Usually this is when I have given up on my current Cormac McCarthy novel and my headphones are just a bit too far out of reach so I just stare out the side window and look at the pretty scenery. Except in when we travel through Jersey, when I simply stare at the book’s cover, reading and rereading whatever Harold Bloom blub they’ve slapped on the front. This isn’t to say that I dislike New Jersey. It’s just to say I’d rather read a quote from a man I despise then look at it. (By the way, the reason I hate him can be found here: . And if you don’t hate him after that article, you clearly didn’t have a childhood).

I would now like to apologize to everyone who lives in New Jersey, and if it makes you feel better, Jersey is still about 10, 345 times better than Essex.

An Announcement, You Know, Like a Real Blog People Care About

It is my pleasure to inform....precisely no one, that this blog is now a free enterprise! Now by that I don't mean that it'll make money, because that would make me happy and that's the sort of thing that can't be allowed, but I do mean that it is now entirely under my control.

See I began this as an assignment for class an assignment that has rapidly become less then invigorating, due in no small part to me being one of the only people who actually used the blog. By the end of the semester we were initially supposed to have 60 of these dispatches, but by the end of the year it was cut to the point were even when I stopped doing my entries regularly, I still had enough to pass. However, the semester is now over and I've decided to entirely repurpose this blog!

For what? I don't know...

How so? Well, I'm still not 100% on that but I'll get back to you...

Will it still carry on the sub-par level of amusement you've mustered thus far? Perhaps...

Will we still have to read all of those stupid stories and idiotic comparisons? Hey! I call foul! First off these questions are rather hard for someone whose trying to wing it! Secondly, I don't think anyone ever read my blog, so this whole "we" thing is uncalled for!

Ehhem. Moving on. So, from this day forward, this shall be a place to really spread my wings, and go in any direction that I see fit!...that mainly is what I've been doing though, so what this actually means is there will be more profanity. If that offends you, thank god! Someone's read this! And they formed an opinion!

Anhedonia

            Increasingly I find myself in the grips of a cataclysmic sensation, as though the world is about to come undone at the seams around me. I stopped listening to most news a while ago, not because I like to be ignorant, but because it’s the thing that brought on this feeling. But apparently I’m magnificent sadist, because once a week I watch The Daily Show and listen to Real Time, all within the space of 24 hours, 24 depressing, gloomy hours. Because, nothing is ever getting better. Politics worse. Wars, constantly increasing. (Alright, maybe not so much any more but for a while there it sure seemed like it). The economy…oh god I need a Valium.

            Ah, that’s better. Where, was I? Oh, yeah. The news…like shows I watch. I don’t even laugh much at them anymore. And these are the ones soft peddling it. And politics used to be my thing. I’d watch debates, the state of the union; sometimes I would watch C-SPAN for ten whole minutes before dozing off. But I can’t even doze off anymore; I watch it with more focus and terror then Rosemary’s Baby. It’s bad. It’s really bad.

But I don’t have a word for it. The closest I’ve been able to come is sort of overkill, but its something. Anhedonia. It is literally the inability to get pleasure from previously pleasurable things. And that is how I feel about politics, right now.

The Killer In Eastern Mass

There is a serial killer on the loose in Eastern Massachusetts. He stalks the upper-middle class neighborhoods, the back roads, and even the town centers, waiting, watching, and when the time is right, he strikes upon his prey.

            The common grey squirrel.

            That’s only possible reason I can conceive for the phenomenon I witnessed during the break, when I saw the pathetic squirrel corpses littered on seemingly every paved surface in the towns surrounding my own. That or perhaps a consortium of like minded squirrel haters, bent on ridding the world of this garden pet, and budget minded house hold pet. It could also be that the black and red squirrels have hired a hit man to wipe out their ubiquitous brother so that there’s more stolen bird feed for them. But I’ll stick to my guns, and say that it’s a single killer, because I highly doubt that not one, but many would willingly run down a helpless little rodent. I refuse to do so, and because of this refusal, I have already had to replace my left wing mirror…which may not have been the best move on my part all things considered.

            But I stand by my decision. And I vow that I’ll raise awareness of this killer, even if I have to paper the whole of Eastern Mass with leaflets and wanted posters, depicting the mad man as I envision him: Boras Karloff, with the eyes of Rasputin and the heart of Ayn Rand. Naturally it will be a little impressionistic, but I think someone will be able to identify him. And if not, I’ll just have to set up a blockade in Natick center, to examine the wheels of every car that passes through.

A Brief History of Censorship as Illustrated by the Comics Industry

            I’m interested in the history of comic books because it’s fascinating. If you haven’t ever bothered to look into it (which should be the majority of people reading this blog), its history closely parallel’s that of films and TV with one glorious (and infamous) break from that trek. It began with pulp of course. The first story of Batman is probably a rip-off of the Shadow, and Superman’s origin was meant to be in a comic strip that was meant to run in newspapers, but was switched at the last moment by the publisher, making the whole thing a bit disjointed, not that I’ve read it, but I’ve heard stories. Also, apparently there are some tales, early in the run where Batman uses a gun, something so anathema to the character now, that the very sight of is a little disquieting. Even if your only frame of reference to that is the Christopher Nolan films (or the Burton/Schumacher ones) you’ll probably get that.

            But the real reason I’m interested in comics, beyond the insanely terrible nature of their origins, is the censorship they underwent. Up until the mid-fifties, when a psychiatrist with far too few patients decided to condemn a whole industry on the basis of children seeking an easy answer to violent behavior, the comic’s industry had grown towards more violent material. EC comics, originator of horror and terror in the industry, is perhaps the most famous of these companies, which sought to profit off the growing amount of adults interested in comics, a side effect of GI’s during the war reading them. However, after the book Corruption of Innocent, the tide turned, and before the government could censor them, the Comics industry decided to do so themselves, making it almost impossible for EC comics to have a twist ending, where the twist was that the main character was black and he was portrayed positively!...yeah I am also nonplused by this censorship, but it’s an example of how creativity was stifled.

Document Inserts

Survey for all UHH Residents from the Department of the Interior.

Dear Resident,

            Enclosed you will find a 25 question survey regarding the level of care you feel has been afforded to you, after the event of [date illegible]. Please answer the questions to the best of your ability and please be sure to answer all of the questions.

            We at the Department of the Interior, with the help of the Emergency Council, and Project Habitat, have been doing all that is in our power to alleviate the danger to you and to your families. This survey is to help us rethink our approach to this, however, due to the unrest in Phoenix last September.

            This survey is not mandatory, but we do encourage you to complete and return. Thank you very much for your anticipated cooperation.

                                                                        Sincerely,

                                                                                    Victor Mondovi

Secretary of the Interior

Questions 1-10 will be in the form of multiple choice. Questions 11-20 will be True of False Answers.  Questions 21-25 are short answer, and provided so you may voice your concerns on various other topics. Remember to write legibly. All data gathered in this survey will be available to the

1). How well do you feel the government prepared for the event?

            A. Very Well

            B. Somewhat Well

            C. Not Sure/Undecided

            D. Somewhat Poorly

            E. Very Poorly

2). How confident do you feel about the security of the Temporary Living Facilities?

            A. Very Confident

            B. Somewhat Confident

            C. Not Sure/Undecided

            D. Somewhat Unconfident

            E. Very Unconfident.

3) In regard to the General Conduct of US and EC Representatives do you feel:

            A. Satisfied with the Representatives

            B. Somewhat Satisfied

            C. Not Sure/Undecided

            D. Somewhat Unsatisfied

            E. Very Unsatisfied

4) Are the supplies to UHH settlements

            A. Very Reguar

            B. Regular

            C. Fairly Regular

            D. Irregular

            E. Very Irregular

5) Do you feel that conditions on the UHH settlements are:

            A. Getting Much Better

            B. Getting Better

            C.  Unchanged

            D. Getting Worse

            E. Getting Much Worse

6) Has anything bee-

[Rip in page here, all subsequent pages absent]
TO: ALL GOVERNMENT ENVOYS TO THE UHH SETTLEMENTS

FROM: CARLA GIEST, SECRETARY OF THE INTERIOR

Gentlemen, since the incidents at Gecko Creek and Salvation, there have been extensive evaluations of our work on the UHH settlements. So far, in all assessments, the UHH settlements have proven to be the least effective in the post-disaster era. To be blunt, the situation on the UHH settlements is disastrous. In the most recent government surveys, we found that there is a near unanimity among UHH settlements that the government’s response to the current crisis has been particularly poor. This survey of course has been classified, as the UN has recently taken a more active interest in our handling of the situation.

Gentlemen, I don’t think I need to tell you that their involvement would be disastrous to the administrations designs for the areas. The president has expressed displeasure with the overall performance of his representatives, particularly in the outer UHH areas. These areas as we have previously stressed, require the most vigilance to keep the populace subdued. UHH areas 279 -467 are to be kept appeased at all costs. They posses a high proportion of Rarities, significantly higher than any of us dared hope. Even with the current restrictions in place and our Emergency Council operating in full swing, these areas cannot be allowed to get uppity. To this end, there will be a change in the rounds of the Government Envoys. Government Envoys previously assigned to UHH areas 56 -278 will be moved to outer areas, as they have exhibited better control of harsher situations than the current representatives for the UHH areas 279 – 467.

As of this time we are also considering more extreme measures in order to keep the peace, but as of this moment, we are only taking this precautionary measure. And gentlemen, this time don’t mess it up.

                                                                        Carla Geist

Secretary of the Interior.

TO: Ken Murray of the IIS, Leslie Manning of the Department of the Interior, and Maeda Shinobo of the UNEC

FROM: Alexander Pitrov of the Scientific Survey

This dispatch is the preliminary findings of the Scientific Survey’s three-year investigation into the activity within the UHH zones. Despite my best instincts I was instructed to submit this report to you, before anything had the chance to be finalized. As these findings are preliminary, and subject to drastic change, I will remind you that the disclosure of any information revealed herein could fundamentally corrupt our results.

In regard to the query of the Department of the Interior, the distribution of Rarities was one of the first things we looked into. You will find the scatter plot of their distribution with the UHH areas attached to this email, but I can sum up the findings relatively succinctly. There seems to actually be little relation to the distance from the Event Site, given a certain point. UHH’s 290-467 do indeed have the greatest number of Rarities, and the rise within that group is proportional to its distance from the Event Site. However, from 56-290, there exists no real pattern with the data gathered. The current speculation is that the mass migration to sites of more habitability following the Event is skewing the numbers in these lower UHH zones, but that is just the best hypothesis we have at this time. Another two years of research will be needed before we can tell you anything for sure.

The Event Site is still unknown, though we are have narrowed down the possible radius to only 2000 square miles. This is made more difficult by the fact that the event seems to have an irregular pattern that conforms to no previously known nuclear event. Indeed, we [the rest of this paragraph has been blacked out]

The IIS, before we began our investigation, asked us about the activities of the militants in the UHH zones 1-72. While the investigation did have a sociological component, our primary focus has always been on the actual inhabitants of the UHH zones that receive government and UN aid. As such, the investigation did not initially focus overly much on the activities of the militant groups. However, it soon became apparent to us that in the lower UHH zones, the mere existence of the militants had a profound effect upon the daily lives of the inhabitants, and as such we have begun a much closer study of the groups.

However, the preliminary results are already available, and are quite interesting. There seem to be three major factions within the militants, although there are of course dozens of smaller groups, outside these three. The smaller groups, though, are the ones that seem to be operate within the range of UHH zones still inside government control. They generally raid either government convoys or the actual settlements, though they almost never kill any inhabitants, in UHH areas 67-72, though in the inner zones there can be the wholesale slaughter of settlements. However, these groups are almost irrelevant to the actual dynamics of the militant groups. They’re little more than scavengers, and while there will be a more complete report on them, we have not focused overly much on them, as of yet.

Fears

I remember long nights as a child, where I stayed up long past the time I should have, as fear accrued its hold on me. This was after I moved from the shared room, with its vast blue carpet that reminded my older brother and I of a drowning sea, to the single that overlooked our yard. My bed then was the sort with draws underneath instead of a vast open space that children so often equate with a monsters den, but instead of elevating my fears about such imaginings it exacerbated them. I remember many nights when the moonlight that crept in through half closed blinds painted horrific images on the carpeted floor. The wind would not always howl and batter the siding of the house, but when it did I remember keeping my head beneath the covers, and to keep the impending apocalypse at bay.

            Of course, I am somewhat overstating things. I certainly didn’t spend every night of childhood in a state of epileptic fear; it’s just that these memories stand out for me because they were the aberration. Certainly it didn’t scar me for life, as I no longer believe such nonsense, for it was a specter of childhood when fear is usually an abstraction of itself. My fears now however are no more meaningful, really, than those that haunted the evenings of my youth. I worry about grades, because I worry about getting a job, am anxious in social situations because if I don’t make friends in college it seems I’ll be unable to a) network and b) will be set adrift in that vast sea of social connections. I fear someone finding out that I’ve not only read, but memorized large portions of “Jefty is Five” although that’s mainly because “Jefty is Five” sounds…terribly (it’s not though,  actually it’s the best short story ever…that won the Hugo award).